The Change Corporation, NLP Training & Coaching, Life Coaching
It doesn't matter how you have lived your life until this moment. All that matters is what your dreams are. The only moment is NOW. Change happens in an instant once you have made a decision to go for it. You're probably feeling that your life is OK and yet you have a yearning for something else. Perhaps there is a dream you have always wanted to pursue or an area of your life that is not right yet. That's where our life coaching courses using NLP can help. Our mission is to inspire you to create new choices for your future. To encourage you via NLP life coaching to take a chance and do something different. If you are coached by us we guarantee your life will never be the same again. We run a range of NLP training courses such as our NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner programmes for those of you who want to get a formal qualification or shorter personal empowerment coaching programmes such as Change Your Life with NLP and Re-Vitalise Your Life.
I was interested to read an article recently by Barbara Hufferman about the value of olive oil for mid-life women. It helps in many ways when everything is getting a little dryer...for example skin, eyes and other places, too! Olive oil has been used for thousands of years in Mediterranean cultures. Ancient Greeks knew of its power to heal wounds, and eventually they used it to light oil lamps, for cooking, and for beauty.
Here are some of the reasons why olive oil is the "liquid gold" we should all have in our kitchens, bathrooms and medicine chests:
On the body: Get held hold of a plastic squeeze bottle and fill with the finest extra-virgin olive oil you can find. Add a few drops of lavender oil for fragrance, and keep in your bathroom. Here's what you can do with it:
Dry Skin: In the shower, take a little olive oil (infused with a few drops of lavender, if you wish) and gently massage it all over your body. Result? Skin like velvet. If your facial skin is feeling especially dry, take one drop of olive oil in your hands, and very gently tap it all over your face, making sure it doesn't look slick. Take a tissue and blot your skin just a little. You'll have skin that's soft and moist, but not greasy.
Extra-dry elbows and feet: Then, massage a little extra virgin olive oil on your elbows and feet (especially the heels) every night. You will see an unbelievable transformation.
Sun Burn, Rash, Wound or Insect Bites: Gently apply a light layer of olive oil and leave uncovered. It helps with the itching and speeds up the healing. It's great for nappy rash, too.
Makeup Remover: This is the best and most gentle way to remove makeup from your face, even your eyes. Olive oil can remove the toughest waterproof mascara without harsh chemicals or soap that can irritate eyes. Allergic reactions to olive oil are practically non-existent.
Cuticles: Soak your nails in a little tray of olive oil. This will soften cuticles, making them easier to push during a manicure. Avoid cutting cuticles as that could cause infection or irritation.
Shaving: Whether shaving facial hair or your legs, putting a light layer of olive oil on damp skin first is a better option that shaving cream.
Dry hair: Olive oil is the most effective hair conditioner, especially for hair that's been over-processed by coloring and blowdrying. Massage some into hair, and wrap a hot towel around it. Leave on for an hour or so, and wash as usual. When your hair is completely dry, add a few drops in your hands, rub them together, flip your head over, bending down and scrunch a little olive oil in your hair. Result? Shiny (not greasy, unless you accidentally put on too much!) and healthy looking hair.
Dandruff: Massage a light layer of olive oil onto your scalp and leave it there for a few hours before washing. If you know a baby with cradle cap, a very common skin condition on the scalp, apply a layer of olive oil every day until it disappears.
In the Body: Keep an excellent bottle of extra-virgin olive oil in your kitchen for good health, as well as for cooking. Here's why:
Weight Loss: Many people, especially from the Mediterranean, drink 2 fl ounces or 60ml of extra virgin olive oil every morning, followed by a small glass of warm water mixed with fresh lemon juice. This helps to cleanse the body, and jump-start the system. Women I met in Israel swear that drinking the olive oil each morning keeps hunger pangs away and has helped with weight loss and maintenance.
Heart Disease and Stroke Prevention: Heart disease is the number one killer of women. Stroke is the third. The FDA reports that by ingesting olive oil each day, you may reduce your risk of coronary heart disease, which can cause heart attacks and strokes. Olive oil contains up to 80 percent monounsaturated fatty acids, which helps to increase HDL, known as the "good" cholesterol, and decrease LDL, the "bad" cholesterol. Extra virgin olive oil, the least processed form of olive oil, has additional antioxidant properties that have a protective effect against heart disease.
Gallstone Reduction: The consumption of olive oil stimulates the production of bile and pancreatic secretions that drastically reduce the formation of gallstones. An experiment revealed the actual weight of a gallstone was reduced by 68 percent after two days of being soaked in pure olive oil.
Colon Cancer Prevention: An article in the International Journal of Cancer stated that the consumption of olive oil may protect against certain forms of cancer, especially colon cancer. Olive oil contains oleic acid and other phenols that have antioxidant benefits in the body. Antioxidants rid the body of free radicals that cause cell damage and may even lead to some forms of cancer. The study showed that the phenols extracted from extra virgin olive oil inhibited colon cancer at different stages. Of course, consuming olive oil is not a substitute for getting regular colonoscopies.
Breast Cancer Prevention: The Mayo Clinic reports that the second most common killer of women is cancer, with lung cancer ranking first and breast and colorectal cancer close behind. According to the National Cancer Institute, more than 12 percent of women will at some point be diagnosed with breast cancer. Cornell University studies showed that olive oil consumption was linked to a substantial decrease in breast cancer risk. The oleic acid and antioxidants in olive oil can help combat other cancers, as well.
Alzheimer's Disease: A research study by Northwestern University in conjunction with the Monell Chemical Senses Center shows that the natural compound in olive oil -- oleocanthal -- may help treat and prevent Alzheimer's disease. Oleocanthal actually alters the structure of neurotoxic proteins believed to contribute to the debilitating effects of Alzheimer's.
Diabetes: Diabetes is a growing health issue in this country, especially due to the ongoing obesity issue. Many people aren't even aware they have diabetes. Diabetes can be complicated by menopause and bring about a host of other health problems such as eye, skin and foot complications. The American Diabetes Association recommends olive oil as a healthy, monounsaturated fat to manage diabetes and the European Food Information Council reports that olive oil can reduce blood glucose levels.
What olive oil should you buy? Definitely extra-virgin olive oil, although it isn't always easy to know if you're getting extra virgin, even if it says so on the label. (Note: olive oils that list "olive oil," "pure" or "light" do not contain oleocanthal. It, like other phenolics, is removed during the refining process. It must say "extra virgin olive oil" on the label.) Only extra virgin olive oil contains the all-important oleocanthal.
So how can you tell which of the extra virgin olive oils have lots of oleocanthal? The gold standard test is taste and your physical reaction to it. Many health experts believe that extra virgin olive oil that contains oleocanthal, a distinguishing chemical characteristic of fresh-pressed olive oil, will be extra peppery and will make you want to cough. A recent article compared the reaction one has to ingesting extra virgin olive oil with oleocanthal to swallowing ibuprofen. This unique sensation and the accompanying 'cough' are regarded among connoisseurs as indicators of high quality olive oil. If the one you are using is peppery then almost certainly you are getting a liberal dose of oleocanthal in your everyday diet.
Let me know how you get on.
18th August 2011
The Worst Fear of Mid-Life Women and What to do About it
It’s official. The worst fear of mid-life women is not wrinkles and fat around the middle, it’s having enough money to live a decent life after 50. Older women are more than twice as likely to live in poverty as older men. So what can we do about it? I’ve noticed on my AWA programme that many of my delegates bury their heads in the sand when it comes to money so here’s some simple and practical tips I’ve developed to help get your finances onto a strong footing both now and for the future. Read more about these tips in my book ‘Still 25 Inside’.
Tip 1: Setting financial goals is the key to financial success. Write down your financial goals on paper. Make sure they are SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timed). Tip 2: Spending less than you earn is the secret to accumulating wealth. This is a simple fact that many of us pretend not to know. If you want to accumulate wealth, live below your means and invest what’s left over.
Tip 3: Money demands attention. Money gets frittered away when it’s not managed. Reconciling everything you’ve spent each month against your bank accounts ensures that you know what your cash flow is at all times and you guard against any fraudulent payments.
Tip 4: Deal with debt. Negotiate with your creditors to pay back what you can. Focus on paying off your debts as fast as possible. Paying interest haemorrhages your chances of accumulating wealth. Set up monthly direct debit payments to avoid late payment charges.
Tip 5: Do not use credit to live on. Using credit to pay for day-to-day expenses like food shopping is one of the least smart things you can do, as it costs so much to repay.
Tip 6: Tidy lives equal tidy finances. Those with cluttered lives often have cluttered finances, too. Take the time to have a grand clear-out on all levels – your wardrobe, the house and your office.
Tip 7: If you don’t save when the opportunity is there, you will drown when it isn’t! Sooner or later you will need a cash cushion. Without it, your lifeline will be high-interest debt that will linger long after your problem has gone.
Tip 8: Choosing a fiscally irresponsible partner is hazardous to your financial health. Opposites tend to attract. Fiscally conservative women tend to be attracted to fiscally liberal guys and visa versa. If you’re about to pair up with a big spender, don’t sign up for any of his debt.
Tip 9: Train yourself to be financially independent. If you plan on Prince Charming you may be in trouble, as all marriages end eventually in divorce or death and it’s usually the women who are left behind. Be aware of your finances even if your partner is handling the bulk of it. Check on the pension planning, too.
Tip 10: Opt for long-term financial planning over crisis management. Women do not tend to get serious about money until they lose a job, a spouse or are near to retirement.
Tip 11: Start investing. Both men and women procrastinate when it comes to investing. The solution is to at least take small steps to move forward. Do some research; work with small amounts and get started.
Tip 12: It’s never too late. The mistake is thinking it is too late. But that’s just an excuse. It’s never too late. Get your finances sorted out now!
Remember personal development expands your mind and your earning potential. Education is your ticket to more opportunities. Now what’s the next step?
31st January 2011
Emotions play a big part in dieting
Emotions that come in all shapes and forms can leave a huge impact on your dieting focus and goals. Today I thought I would write about how they play a big part in our lives and how you can keep them under control.
Personal Myths
Your personal myths are your beliefs about your current weight. We are interested here in the negative ones that are likely to have led you to becoming overweight and then kept you stuck. Listing your own personal myths will help you to be in control and identify what is subconsciously and unnecessarily holding you back from your goals. I have listed a few below:
· I can’t lose weight, no matter what I do.
· It’s too expensive to eat healthily
The next step is to review what beliefs a.k.a. food viruses you wrote down and notice how they appear to be simply excuses that are holding you back. Just imagine for a moment if none of these statements were true for you. What difference would that make to your goal?
Letting go of negative experiences
If you don’t delve deep into your emotions you won’t be able to find out exactly what triggered your food myths. I have worked with many people aiming to lose weight and some of the situations that have held them back include;
· They were teased/bullied at school
· They were told they were not good enough by their parents/teachers
· They suffered emotional or physical abuse
These are just some examples of situations that may be affecting your ability to lose weight. You can find the connection by looking at your myths and relating that to an eating style questionnaire as shown in my latest book ‘Lose Weight with NLP’. Then ask yourself a few questions and make a note of the key things you learned from your answers;
What negative experiences in your past may have led to your weight issues today?
What negative beliefs about yourself have those experiences generated in you?
How have those beliefs acted as a trigger for your weight issues today?
Believe it or not, you can actually change your past, whatever happened, good or bad. The first step involves being aware of your negative experiences and how they’re holding you back.
There are more helpful exercises in my latest book ‘Lose Weight with NLP’ which is available from Amazon and all good bookstores.
21st January 2011
Hello to over-50 glamour!
A new era is starting to be unleashed in over-50 glamour as a new report has shown that almost three quarters of women over 50 are still happily wearing high heels. With more and more middle age women looking up to fabulous celebs like; Kim Cattrall, Helen Mirren, and Jane Fonda, more are enjoying reaching mid-life.
‘The boundaries of ageing have changed beyond all recognition’, said Emma Soames from Saga Magazine, which commissioned the survey.
‘The sensible flat shoe is no longer the footwear of choice by older women who still like to dress fashionably and smartly until well into their seventies.’
She said older women were very keen to maintain a well-groomed image.
‘Older role models reflect the style that older women like to project. High heels are just part of the package,’ she said.
Older women, however, are careful to avoid the very highest stilettos, according to the Saga survey of 4,400 women. The most popular type, worn by 73 per cent of those polled, is the comfortable court shoe, followed by kitten heels worn by 30 per cent. Just ten per cent of older women brave stilettos and a mere two per cent dare to wear those 5in- plus super-high heels. But like any high-heel wearers, older women should give their feet the occasional rest and slip into some ballet pumps or flat boots.
Will 2011 be the year of the midlife woman? Will more women be encouraged to age with attitude? Will this new wave of later-life glamour become a new way of ageing?
What ever the outcome, it is all positive in my eyes. It is great to see solid facts showing the increase of midlife confidence, and displaying older women looking just as or often even more beautiful and happy as they were when they were younger.
If you are interested in finding your new liberated self or you have some changes you want to make in any area of your life please do check out my Age with Attitude courses on my website. www.agewithattitude.co.uk. The next one starts on the 2nd April.
14th January 2011
New Weight-loss pill to help people lose weight...but changing your mindset can help you lose weight and prevent accompanying health issues!
A new weight-loss pill claims that it can help those 7 out of 10 women committing to a New Year diet, by losing approx 2ibs per week without changing their eating habits. Whilst weight loss is good, I am concerned about the health hazards which come along with eating the wrong foods.
Losing weight is difficult for many of us women to conquer, but where are we going wrong? Yes, we may be changing our diets, or taking substitute pills/shakes/meals the list goes on! But unless we actually change our mindsets we will continue to fail every time.
NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) has been helping people to change their mindsets in the workplace, during hard times in their lives, to think more positive and much more for years now, and it can also help you to stay on top of your health.
I have just released my latest book Lose Weight with NLP that helps women to lose weight and keep it off, not by exhausting gym routines, potentially unsafe pills, or crash diets, but by just changing your mindset.
To give you an idea of how it works...We all have something in our brains called the Reticular Activity System otherwise known as RAS. Our RAS plays a vital part in making and sticking to goals. Of course, if you keep thinking that you can't achieve your goal, your unconscious mind will start to believe that too and encourage you not to achieve it. And, if you find you are focusing on other things in your life that you don't want, guess what, your RAS will do an excellent job of delivering those to you, too. For example, if all you focus on is going on being overweight, don't be surprised if you find your weight increasing - not the other way round. The reason is that if you're looking in the mirror and feeling terrible about you own reflection, that's the signal you're putting in to the universe. Your RAS is very obedient and tends to give you exactly what you focus on, whether you want it or not. In addition to all this is another very important fact. Our brains cannot process a negative. It deletes the negation encouraging us to do the one thing we shouldn't be doing!
So when you make your next diet plans and commitments make sure you think about it first!
Lose Weight with NLP is available from Amazon.
6th January 2011
Stick to Your New Year’s Resolutions 2011
Who hasn’t woken up on New Year’s Day (or in a drunken stupor on New Years Eve) with the massive sense of starting the New Year off right and accomplish a life-long wanted task, need, or want? Unless you’re under the age of 13, you’ve probably committed yourself to such a New Year’s Resolution and broken it within the first week. It all comes down to how much self-discipline you have and how great the desire.
Can you do it this year? First of all, remember that it’s never too late to change . In those moments when you make a decision, you start to create a new future for yourself. The all important thing is to take action and do something different!
Now let’s get down to detail.
· Most New year’s resolutions are only ‘wish-lists’, there is no substance or plan behind them. That’s why they don’t last. They are often also far too wishy-washy. Vague resolutions are only good for one thing – to let you off the hook! Remember it’s the difference between saying ‘I want to start running’ to saying ‘I want to be able to run 10 miles each week’.
· Resolutions can be achieved if you take them seriously and create a clear plan to reach them. The word ‘plan’ can sound scary. It really just means what actions do you need to take to achieve your resolution? Actions can be small steps so long as you keep moving forwards towards your goal. Don’t set yourself up to fail by setting yourself unrealistic targets. For example, don’t say you’ll go to the gym every day unless you can achieve it!
· Make sure you set a timescale for your resolution as it’s easy to allow yourself off the hook. It’s the difference between saying ‘I want to lose weight’ and ‘I want to lose 7 pounds by the end of March 2011’. Get the idea?
· Keep going until your reach your target. It’s easy to give up too soon. If your resolution is important enough to you, you will keep your motivation levels. Persistence is important. If you’re not motivated enough it’s probably because you don’t want it enough! Ask yourself what will happen if you don’t achieve your resolution – if you’re not that bothered find something else!
· Be flexible – if you always do what you’ve always done you always get what you’ve always got. If something isn’t working do something different. For example, if you want to lose weight and your approach isn’t working then change it.
· Be prepared to take massive action to achieve your goal. Are you prepared to do whatever it takes to achieve your resolution? If not, then it’s not the right one. Massive action doesn’t have to be all at once but you do need to keep focused and keep going.
· Finally, take responsibility for what you want in your life. No more excuses and blaming everyone except yourself. When things go wrong learn from them. Focus on what you in your life, not on what you don’t want. Our brains can’t process negatives so if your New Year’s resolution is ‘I don’t want to be in debt’ your brain understands ‘I want to be in debt’ and so no wonder when you find it tough to make any money! Instead, focus on what specifically you want and enjoy the difference.
Remember ‘the only way to predict your future is to create it’.
27th December 2010
Tis the Season to be Divorcing?
With the festive season being the time of the year where divorce rates are highest, I thought I would share with you my tips on how to get over, get on top, and get your attitude back after being newly single!
My story...
I broke up with my husband of 13 years in 2001, after I realising that we no longer had the same outlook on life, I needed a change and this is where I grew the courage to go off and do my own thing, I started writing, started my own business, and I have never been happier.
How to move on
· Accept the relationship is over and don’t rely on your ex for emotional support – seek it elsewhere. · Find things you want to do in your free time – maybe a new pastime or an old sport you haven’t done in years. · Tell friends so they don’t feel awkward or obliged to take sides. · Talk to your ex about how you will arrange events involving your kids. · Find things you want to do such as holidays or eating out and ask friends or family to come -that way you won’t feel so consciously not a couple. · Have something to look forward to. · Do something you’d never have been able to do with your partner – like watch a chick-flick at the cinema. · Keep busy so you don’t have an empty diary. · Track down old friends. · Book a singles holiday somewhere you’ve always wanted to go to. · Reassess who’s really important to you, and make time for them. · Make lots of “me” time – maybe have a new hair style, lose weight or update your wardrobe. · Keep telling yourself it is a new start and enjoy putting yourself first!
20th December 2010
Weight Loss is Mind Over Matter!
It is estimated that nearly 60% of adults want to lose weight. Some are mums wanting their pre-baby figure back; others are older people fighting the gradual thickening around the waist that can come with middle age; others have been struggling with weight gain all their lives, or are yo-yo dieters or binge-eaters. Most diets are short-term measures that are virtually impossible to maintain permanently, so no matter how much weight you lose, you will no doubt put some or all of it on again, or maybe even more than you lost to start with. Whatever your situation, there is always a solution. NLP helps with weight loss as it identifies the triggers as to why you put on weight in the first place and then helps to re-programme your brain for permanent weight loss. My book shows you how to re-programme your brain with regard to food, exercise and lifestyle, and once this has been achieved, you will always be able to keep your weight under control.
Try this exercise for starters as it will help you to visualise what you want to achieve...
The journey begins
Step 1: Discovering what you want
Imagine yourself in a year’s time. A year might sound like a long time, but it is not about going on a crash diet. Losing weight with NLP is less about restricting what you eat and more about a healthy lifestyle plan that will last a lifetime. What do you want to have achieved within that year? Aim for a goal that stretches you and is realistic at the same time. Remember that a healthy weight loss of 2ibs per week for a year would be a maximum weight loss of 104ibs (7 stone 4ibs). Of course if you just want to shed a few pounds after Christmas or after a baby, your desired weight loss will clearly be far less than that! Picture yourself having achieved your goal, then imagine what you’ll see, hear, and feel. Now turn up the brightness and size of the image, increase the sounds and ramp up the feelings. It may help to close your eyes. Make sure that you are looking through your owns eyes and not seeing yourself in the picture. Keep this image clear in your mind and practice this every day for a month for best effect as that’s how long it takes to re-programme your brain to focus on you becoming fit and healthy for 2011!
For more information on losing weight with NLP please keep an eye-out for my new book which is on sale Jan 7th, ‘Lose Weight with NLP’ (Macmillan)
15th December 2010
How to survive the Christmas blues
It’s a well known fact that divorce is a hot subject during the festive period and it is no surprise really. Expectations about Christmas run high and are often unrealistic. Much unhappiness is caused by having too many expectations in the first place. It’s hard to stay cheerful when there’s no money to spend, the in-laws are round and the washing up has been left for you to do again! Also, couples spend long periods of time with each other at Christmas. Arguments are often more frequent and more intense this time of year. Resentment, bottled up all year can often boil over too. All this adds up to higher divorce rates.
Sadly for many, it could be the last straw fuelled by an ongoing bout of depression. Lots of things can trigger depression. For example, remembering loved ones who are no longer with us can make people feel awful – especially if anniversaries are around Christmas time too. If you are spending Christmas alone this can also be very difficult when everything you see on TV or read about is of families and fun. In this recession, a lack of money to do what you want, buy the presents for your family etc can also trigger feelings of depression.
So what can be done to either prevent/ cure these feelings? My advice is to keep the event in perspective – it’s only two days! Try not to build it up in your mind to be so special. Get out a pen and paper and make a list of all the gifts of Christmas that don’t cost a penny. Also, write down what you are grateful for. I know you’ll be surprised. If you are playing the martyr this Christmas you are choosing to! And, you can choose not to. Use this time to heal up old wounds. Forgive those you need to forgive and apologise to those you need to apologise to. You’ll soon be feeling much better and maybe even enjoying the whole event!
10th December 2010
Lose Weight with NLP in the New Year
I am shocked by the number of people in the UK who are unable to take responsibility for their weight. You might challenge me on that and say it’s far too simplistic a viewpoint. Yet is it? The number of people having NHS stomach surgery leapt by 41 per cent between 2006 and 2007, and official records show that there were 3,459 such operations last year, up from 2,448 the year before. What’s more, this total does not include the soaring number of private procedures performed in Britain and abroad. The British Obesity Surgery Society, for example, claims that there is a backlog of about 60,000 patients needing a gastric bypass – and that more NHS surgical training and resources are needed to catch up.
When researching for my book Still 25 Inside, I interviewed an orthopaedic surgeon, who told me about some of his obese clients who come in for surgical procedures such as new hip and knee joints, and gastric bands. He explained how many of them are in complete denial about over-eating – they make excuses about why they are overweight and dispute that it’s anything to do with their own actions. They blame it on things like; ‘It’s genetic’, ‘none of the diets work for me’, or ‘exercise makes me ill’! These my friends are prime examples of people who live their life in ‘effect’.
In contrast, women who live their life at ‘cause’ take personal responsibility for everything that happens to them. Now I don’t know if we do create everything on our lives, but accepting that we do puts us in a position of power over everything around us. More than anything else, this singular action helps us to step up our game. That’s because whatever occurs in our lives, good or bad, we are focussed on what there is to learn from that situation. So in this case, women who are at ‘cause’ are the ones able to take control of their weight and triumphantly keep it off!
Anyone moving from ‘effect’ to ‘cause’ feels empowered and stronger than they did before, and with dieting, much more fulfilled and energised. Much of NLP is effectively designed to put us back at ‘cause’. Those of us on the ‘cause’ side are always searching inside for a solution and to learn from our mistakes. This can sometimes seem like a tougher journey than the one experienced by those people at ‘effect’ in the Grey Zone – and, yet, it is one over which we keep complete control.
If you want to move from the ‘effect’ side to the ‘cause’ side of the equation, the first step is to remove all of your excuses. This can be a less-than-comfortable process at first; however, I can guarantee that once you begin to get your results you will feel differently, happier and much more in control.
3rd December 2010
Be careful what you wish for in 2011
We already know that goals give us a target to aim for. What many of us may not know is that we have a part of our brain called the Reticular Activating System or RAS which plays a vital part in your ability to reach goals, it helps you to focus on the people, places and things that can help you achieve. This week I thought I would share with you how your RAS plays a vital part in your ability to achieve goals, and how you should be careful what you wish for in 2011 and how to stay on track.
With the new year coming sooner than we like to think and with new year’s resolutions surfacing in our minds, being able to take on board new changes and sticking to them whilst recovering from a hectic Christmas period can be quite a challenge.
Of course, if you keep thinking that you can’t achieve your goal, your unconscious mind will start to believe that too and encourage you not to achieve it. And, if you find you are focusing on other things in your life that you don’t want, guess what, your RAS will do an excellent job of delivering those to you, too. For example, if all you focus on is going on being debt, don’t be surprised if you find your debt increasing – not the other way round. The reason is that if you’re looking at a mountain of debt and feeling terrible about it, that’s the signal you’re putting in to the universe. Your RAS is very obedient and tends to give you exactly what you focus on, whether you want it or not. In addition to all this is another very important fact. Our brains cannot process a negative. It deletes the negation encouraging us to do the one thing we shouldn’t be doing!
So, it’s vital that you focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. Go back and make sure that your goals are about what you want to achieve, and are not negative in any way. If you have no goals in life, then your RAS does not have any clear instructions as to what it should seek out for you. I’m sure we all know people who lead chaotic lives, not settling on anything for very long. Maybe you have experienced life like that up till this moment. Now there are no more excuses. Get your RAS working for you, and use the 126 bits of information you gather every second of your life to help you achieve what you want.
24th November 2010
Over one million women unemployed due to recession latest figures show...but that won’t get us down!
In previous recessions, unemployment was a male affliction. Dole queues were populated by men who had been in old-style industrial jobs, now it seems the tables have turned and it is us women that seem to be on the receiving end with over one million women being reportedly made unemployed, which is the highest rate since 1988.
It has also been reported that, two-thirds of women are in paid employment, compared with just over half in 1971 — and 7.6 million, or 56 per cent, work full-time. The stay-at-home mum is heavily outnumbered by her career-pursuing counterparts — more than 70 per cent of mothers living with a husband or partner juggle work and family. Nearly 60 per cent of single mums have jobs.
I strongly believe that there is always a positive that comes from a negative, and instead of over one million unemployed women I see over one million women who have been given the opportunity to make a big change in their lives, find their inner-self and maximise their potential. There are many ways in which women can make a change for the best, in this case a career change, sit down and ask yourself, was your job satisfying you? What have you always wanted to do? Are you ready for a challenge?
When you find the answers to that you will be able to identify what the next steps are in changing your future for the best. You don’t have to be in your 20’s either to reap the benefits of changing career path. When I entered my 40’s at the turn of the millennium I decided to end my marriage, quit my job and start a new life as a life coach and author. I am now due to publish my 4th book in January and I have never been happier!
There is lots of help out there such as my courses ‘Age with Attitude’ that are specially designed to help you overcome such challenges in life, and to help you spring back and be as happy and positive as possible.
16th November 2010
Scientists prove that stress increases ageing...especially for middle-aged women
I was intrigued by a story I saw this morning about scientific proof that stress increases the ageing process. We certainly do say that people who are stressed tend to look tired and haggard, and many say that too much stress will ‘turn your hair grey early’,but can it really have such a physical effect on us?
Apparently, In 2004, scientists started to study telomeres, which are the tips of strands of DNA rather like the tips on the end of a shoelace. Telomeres stop DNA from fraying. When it frays, the cell stops being healthy: if it is a skin cell, it will cease to function properly and will appear aged. If the DNA frays in a brain cell, memory will lapse. The chromosomes in our cells are protected by these little tips. As our cells divide over time, because of damage, the telomeres get shorter and so become an accurate marker of biological ageing.
Now for the interesting bit! Further research has shown that when the stress levels are reduced, the telomeres actually repair themselves and can therefore, slow down the ageing process.
Through my Age With Attitude courses, I’ve found that most of the women on the course are ‘stressed’, it’s the kind of course that people get drawn to when they are feeling depressed and in drastic need of something to boost their spirits. Part of this stress it due to life changing and them not being entirely sure of their part in their new world. They might be seeing their children leave home, an elderly relative become ill or find that their relationships have changed and their marriage is on the verge of breakdown. All these things can cause women to feel out of control and the more stressed they become, the more stressed their body will look and feel, the lower their confidence becomes and the cycle continues.
My advice for any woman in feeling in this situation is to just stop.....and breathe....Nothing is impossible and everything can be changed. Try some basic relaxation exercises, write down your biggest concerns, your greatest ambitions and take the questionnaires within my book ‘Still 25 Inside’. Once you have a grasps on where you are heading and what you want to achieve, your way of getting there will become clear and your stresses will reduce.
So here is to a happier, less stressed and hopefully more youthful looking you...according to the scientists anyway!
10th November 2010
Beating the winter blues with NLP
Our Attitudes are made up of what we believe about ourselves and what's important to us. Feeling good and enjoying life is a mindset that all of us can develop. You can make this choice at an emotional level (in terms of how you feel about yourself) and at a psychological level (in the way that you behave). With all this horrible weather, I thought what a better way to start the winter season than to share a few tips on how to refresh yourself mentally and get rid of those winter blues.
Live your life on purpose
The first Attitude, 'I live my life on purpose', is all about giving yourself permission to discover what you want to be, do or have with the rest of your life. It's important for each of us to have goals, but we often forget (or fail) to put aside the time to set them. It could be that you would like to travel to far-flung shores, learn a new sport, language or skill, meet new friends, volunteer, start up a website or a book club, or anything else you set your mind to. Or it could be something more drastic, like changing your relationship, career or where you live. This Attitude will help you focus on what you would like to achieve, and show you how to identify what you really want to change in your life.
Create what you want (from the inside out)
The mind and body are inextricably connected, so when we change on the inside, we automatically change on the outside. So often we depend on external 'things' to make us feel better. For example, when we have felt low or unhappy in the past we may have undertaken some 'retail therapy' to make us feel better. However, the feelings of pleasure that this type of thing encourages are normally short-lived. Why? Because we are relying on something 'external' to change the way we feel inside. As a result, the effect is always temporary. In contrast, change on the inside is permanent because it's something over which you can take responsibility and control. If there's something you want to achieve, don't let the desire to make that first step 'perfect' hold you back, be prepared to make mistakes along the way and learn from them.
Know who you are
This Attitude is all about finding out what you are passionate about, because doing so goes a long way towards helping you discover your sense of self - and thereby increasing your confidence and self-esteem. When we allow ourselves to discover what we are passionate about, we experience the triumph of love and hope over fear. Remember the last time you felt real passion? That was the real you. If it was more than a month ago, you've got some work to do!
Be true to yourself
In order to be true to ourselves, we need to discover what our values are. Our values are instilled in us at an early age, most often before the age of seven. At this age our surroundings are imprinted upon us with little of our own filtering. For example, our values will be influenced by the values of our parents, close family, environment, school, and everything and everyone else that touches our lives.
Believe you are good enough
This Attitude explores how to change limiting beliefs or fixed ideas that we have about ourselves. Everyone has them; the good news is they can be changed! Our beliefs are views or ideas we have about ourselves, other people and situations that we hold to be true. Like our values, our beliefs are formed during the imprint period, before the age of seven.
We collect beliefs from those closest to us at that time, such as parents, teachers, close family and any other important people in our lives. The most important thing to understand about beliefs is that they are generalisations that we create from life experiences. Most of us do not consciously decide what we believe. Furthermore, once we have a belief we forget that it can be changed, and it becomes our reality. We rarely challenge our long-held beliefs and they become a filter through which we sieve all of our life's expectations and experience.
Like yourself
Believe it or not, the key to learning to respect yourself and feeling in harmony with your body is healthy eating. However, in order to eat healthily, it is important to create the mindset necessary for healthy eating. Let's face it - we women have an ongoing affair with food. We love it and we hate it. We starve ourselves and then we binge to make ourselves feel better. We go on crash diets and then we eat to suppress negative feelings in our lives. We equate it with love, yet we often simply feed others instead of telling them how much we love them.
So, how do we create the right mindset to look after and respect our bodies? Firstly, we need to reframe the way we see our bodies. Instead of seeing them as less than perfect, or even ugly, it's essential to see them as the means through which we will achieve our life's purpose. We need to treat our bodies with love and respect, and regard food and meals as a way of providing them with the nourishment they require to support us on our journey.
Take time for yourself
This Attitude is all about time. Do you embrace time as your friend or your enemy? Are you someone who often says, 'I don't have time for that'? If you are someone who experiences time as a scarce commodity, of which there is never enough, then you are creating a completely different personal reality from someone who perceives that they have all the time in the world.
Be certain of your success
What if we could predict that everything we programmed into your future was going to happen, just as everything in the past has already happened? In other words, what if you could be as sure of the future as you are of the past? In this Attitude I use a Time Line Therapy TM - a process that helps you let go of negative emotions from the past, let go of limiting decisions you made in the past and create your future the way you want it. With Time Line Therapy TM you can decide what is going to happen and when. This process involves using your imagination to create a compelling future that is inspirational. It is important that the goals you put into your future motivate you now, because this is what will move you to take action and make your goal a reality.
For more information on the 8 Steps please refer to Still 25 Inside, £12.99, Amazon.
5th November 2010
Friends are an essential part of ageing
It was interesting to see mentioned on This Morning that research is suggesting friendship becomes much more important as we age, sometimes more important than family connections.
Many of the people I have spoken to through my Age With Attitude programmes have expressed similar views and it got my thinking why this might be. I think one of the key issues is to do with how people feel about themselves as they age.
I’m 51 for example, but inside I still feel the same as I did when I was in my early twenties. It doesn’t matter that the outside world may label me as ‘mid-life’ or that my children think I’m over the hill, the point is that my perception of who I am is probably quite different to the way my family may think about me.
I still have goals, dreams and aspirations for what I want to achieve with my life and I certainly don’t feel I’m too old to strive for them. Many people find that through friendships with people who have similar goals and aspirations, they are motivated into believing they still can achieve the things they want in life, that they aren’t too old and that most importantly, life doesn’t stop just because you hit midlife.
I have a wonderful family that supports me and believes in me, but I also have an great network of friends who help me to keep believing in myself and striving for my goals. I’ve also gained some great new friendships as part of my Age With Attitude programmes and seen many go on to form strong bonds with those they went on the course with. If you’d like to meet some like minded women in their 40s and 50s, why not find out more about the programme; it could be the start of a beautiful friendship!
28th Ocotober 2010
Reaching Breaking Point in Later Life
Following recent stories about 32 year old celeb and model Katie Price reaching the decision to take up therapy due a breaking point in her life I thought I would write this week about breaking point at an older age in your life and how you can cope.
It is a fact that when we get older we start to question what we did with our lives so far and we start to think about what we could have done, where we could have been and why we chose the paths we did. Only because you hit 40 it doesn’t mean you have hit a wall in your life, it means that you now have experience, wisdom and the upper hand. You don’t have to feel alone, scared, worried or upset!
By 40 many women would have got to the high point in their career, finished raising their kids, or had all the experiences they wanted in life. So why is it that when we reach midlife it seems that our world stops and we suddenly worry that we haven’t fulfilled our lives? Trust me it isn’t as rare as people think, in fact 1in2 women consider changing their careers in later life.
The big changes which can include; coming out of a marriage/relationship that you are not quite content with, changing careers to something where you feel more satisfaction and many more...
To help those out there that may be confused, feel alone or just want a bit of guidance I thought I would provide you with a quiz from my latest book Still 25 Inside to show you how far you are at discovering the new you:
What’s Age Got to Do with It?
1. How much ‘me time’ do you take per week, on average?
a) More than 5 hours per week
b) Between 1 and 4 hours per week
c) None
2. When was the last time you had exciting and passionate sex?
a) This week
b) In the last 6 months
c) I can’t remember!
3. Last time you looked at your partner did you:
a) Feel blissfully in love
b) Wonder what happened
c) Feel completely trapped
4. Would you consider cosmetic surgery?
a) No, I don’t need it
b) Maybe
c) Definitely, if I could afford it
5. When you look in the mirror do you see:
a) Feel happy with what you see
b) Know there’s some work to be done
c) Ban all mirrors in the house!
6. How often do you exercise?
a) More than once a week
b) A couple of times a month
c) Never
7. Do you have goals for the future that stretch you?
a) Yes, I’m very focused
b) I have a few
c) I don’t have any goals
8. Are you on track with your career?
a) Absolutely
b) Used to be
c) I’ve given up and am coasting retirement
9. Is your work aligned with your core talents?
a) Yes, I love my work
b) Not really, but it pays the bills
c) No, my talents are totally wasted
10. Are you continually competing with younger women at work?
a) Yes, and I win!
b) Sometimes
c) All the time
11. How do you feel most of the time?
a) Energised and happy
b) Could be better
c) Pretty depressed
12. Do you believe that the best is yet to come?
a) Of course
b) Convince me
c) You must be kidding...
Now, add up the number of As, Bs and Cs, and find out what your choices suggest about you:
MOSTLY As: Congratulations! You are well on the way to breaking through to a new you, and I’ll show you how your life can get even better.
MOSTLY Bs: Your life doesn’t matter enough right now, does it? You are probably feeling pretty stuck and unfulfilled. It’s time to work out what you really want to do with the rest of your life. I’ll help you develop some ideas to do just that.
MOSTLY Cs: You’ve really bought into the media hype, haven’t you? You believe it’s too late to change. Be brave and dare to explore the possibilities of something different. I’ll show you how.
18th October 2010
My Gosh, it’s Menopause Month!
So ladies, we are now in October which means World Menopause Month! Courtesy of The International Menopause Society (good on them!) It is great to know that through this whole month awareness is being created through the media and communicated to the public so women who may sometimes feel alone understand menopause. It’s not just us women that should know about the menopause, our partners/husbands should be well informed too, I helped to voice out that matter today with 106.1 Rock Radio Manchester.
To help guide you through what Menopause Month is all about I have included some information from The International Menopause Society’s website.
The International Menopause Society, in collaboration with the World Health Organization, has designated October 18 as World Menopause Day. In observation of the Day, the IMS and the member national societies of CAMS, the Council of Affiliated Menopause Societies, distribute materials and organize activities to inform women about menopause, its management and the impact of estrogen loss. Since it is not always possible for local societies to arrange activities for this specific day, the IMS has now designated October as World Menopause Month. Local societies can also collaborate with other organizations working in the field of adult women's health, such as societies for osteoporosis and breast cancer, to organize joint events. World Menopause Month can also be a call to implement policies that support research and treatment in the area of menopausal health.
As the world’s population ages, there will be increasing numbers of women entering menopause and living beyond postmenopause. The potential symptoms of menopause may have a negative impact on the quality of daily life. Moreover, the consequences of menopause can lead to a host of age-related diseases including heart disease and osteoporosis. Nations around the world should continue to educate women about menopause and the benefits of preventive health care.
The IMS hopes that national societies will take the opportunity of World Menopause Month to highlight the increasing importance of menopausal health issues, by contacting the women of their country to encourage them to talk to their doctors about menopause and its long-term effects.
Remember ladies, menopause doesn’t mean the end of your youth, it means the beginning of your new life.
12th October 2010
Over 40’s Top the Forbes 100 Most Powerful Women List
What a joyous occasion to have further proof that mid-life women really are unstoppable – even when we feel ‘we are at that certain age’.
Forbes have recently published their annual 100 Most Powerful Women List, a number of which were women were over 40. These included some top women such as; Michelle Obama (46), Oprah Winfrey (56), Carol Bartz (62) and Sarah Jessica Parker (45).
It’s great to finally see that some of the world’s most powerful women are over 40, dismissing any remarks or comments that may have been made by others about success later on in life.
“We’ve come up with a new ranking of the female power elite that reflects the New Order of now ,” Forbes explained in an article accompanying the list .
“When we set out to identify this year’s list, we decided it was time to look up and out into the broader culture,” Forbes said. “Our assessment is based less on traditional titles and roles and more on creative influence and entrepreneurship.”
The list shows that in most cases if you put your mind to it and accept that you are an experienced, talented and wise woman you can be as successful as you wish. You can find out exactly how to achieve this in my recently published book ‘Still 25 Inside’. But don’t take my word for it; see what readers are saying about it here
27th September 2010
Where are all the exceptional women?
For any of you that are active on Twitter, you may have caught wind of a debate this week which was sparked by Alastair Campbell, after he delivered a speech this week on exceptional women. Apparently, during the guest address at an event hosted by executive recruitment firm McSherry Brown, Alastair revealed his top 12 most exceptional people, of which only two were women.
His selection raised a few questions in the room as to why he had not selected more women for his top 12. He later blogged,
“"Unsurprisingly, the gender imbalance came up in the Q&A. 'Why wasn't Mrs Thatcher in there?' I was asked. I found myself making a broader point, which didn't go down well with the women in the room, but has a ring of truth to it. Whether you look at history, or the current day, most of the people who would be defined as the best and most exceptional in their field tend to be men. If I had been asked to do a list of 12 exceptional women, I could have done so, and there are plenty to choose from. But there are more men to choose from, and I don't think it is sexist to say so.”
I don’t think Alastair was being sexist when he put his list together and he does raise a very valid point, there are more men to choose from. Most of this a product of the more male-dominated business world of the past, and whilst we can’t change that, we can use it as a spur to drive forward and bring to the forefront many more exceptional women.
I’ve found that many of the women on my AgeWithAttitude personal development programme are truly exceptional businesswomen who are just being stifled by blockages in their life. It might be a bad relationship, a troublesome boss or an extended period of low self esteem and general loss of direction. What these women really needed was just to be pointed in the general direction, as they had the intelligence, desire and tenacity to be successful in what they did, once they could see the wood for the trees and focus on their end goal.
One of the activities in the Age With Attitude programme involved firewalking, and this is a crucial aspect of the programme, as it helps the women to challenge their limiting beliefs. Many say this point is ‘life changing’ as it makes them realise that the only person holding them back from succeeding is themselves.
So, sit back for a minute and consider, are you letting any limiting beliefs holding you back from succeeding at work?
20th September 2010
Sexism on the rise...
How does this effect women in business?
A new chart has been put together by women's groups in the US to classify the hate words used against us women by modern day men. It's the latest project in contemporary feminism's use of the internet to network, campaign, critique and challenge, and it is spearheaded, among others, by renowned US feminist Gloria Steinem.
One of the main worries when it comes to sexism on the rise is the effect it has in the workplace. When I teamed up with Dr Julie Hodges from Durham Business School to produce a survey which looked into life after 40 from women nationwide I was pleasantly surprised with the results...I was also a little worried. The determination behind the survey originates from the many stereotypical views and fears of both personal and work life when women hit 40.
We found that midlife women are still being treated differently to their younger counterparts at work, but despite the negative feelings we also found that this doesn't stop them believing they will gain the upper hand. We also found that 1 in 2 women would happily consider totally changing their career in their 40s and 7/10 women like themselves more as they get older!
So whilst there may be a rise in sexism, for us more mature ladies it seems that even if we are victims, we are far too fabulous to stop and worry about what male colleagues think.
You can have a look at the new chart here: NameItChangeIt.org <http://www.nameitchangeit.org/pages/name-it/> .
Young women under pressure to look good...why most women agree to feeling more attractive with age
Feeling good about yourself as a woman is always swings and roundabouts. When you’re young you want to look more mature and sophisticated and when your older you want to look younger...or is it?
When the Girls Guide released shocking statistics showing that half of women found that looking attractive is the worst part of being a female. And 75 per cent of those questioned also said they went on strict diets to look good for others, rather than for health reasons. I had to look again!
When I teamed up with Durham Business School to discover overall thoughts of life after 40 for women nationwide we found that 7/10 women actually liked themselves more when they got older.
It just goes to show that no matter your age or circumstance you can always feel good, you just have to accept yourself for who you are.
I was absolutely thrilled to see that Carol Vorderman will be marking her 50th birthday with 50 parties to help her thank all the people that have influenced her life over the years. I was also very interested to see that she is currently busy writing her autobiography. I was in my late 40’s when I started writing my first book and I can’t believe that just a few short years later, I’m awaiting the launch of my third book next month and my fourth is due out in early 2011!
What is so great about this story is that fact that Carol is not ashamed of being 50 and is positively proud to acknowledge her place as a successful midlife woman. Many women seem to lose their way when it comes to their late thirties and early forties, often losing confidence in both their bodies and in themselves. This can be caused by the pressures of work, family and just too many years of putting others needs before their own. Suddenly, the kids leave home, their marriage breaks down, they change jobs or something else significant happens and they start to feel overwhelmed with the realisation that life is passing them busy and they are perhaps too over the hill to achieve their dreams. They can begin to feel quite isolated and depressed if you aren’t careful.
I found (as I’m sure Carol did) that from mid-forties onwards (although sometimes earlier/later), you hit a period of serious reflection and assessment of your life and it is up to you to make this a positive, cathartic and life enhancing experience. You look at what you’ve achieved, what you might have done differently and what you really want for the future. It was this process of self-reflection and affirmation that spurred me into creating my Age with Attitude course a few years ago. I wanted to help other women hitting that ‘wall’ to understand it, embrace it and turn it into something positive so that they came out of it a more confident, happier and more focused person. I also talk about these topics in my book ‘Still 25 Inside’ which is available on Amazon and in all good book stores.
(based on this story - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1306520/Carol-Vordermans-50-parties-50th.html)
27th August 2010
The Rise of the ‘Grankini’
Body confidence is often one of the first things to go as you hit midlife, so how inspiring to see that more midlife women than ever are taking pride in their bodies and wearing a bikini!
According to recent reports, Sales of the 'grankinis' have risen 118 per cent in two years at Debenhams - driven by those in their fifties and sixties. A survey showed 71 per cent of customers aged 50 to 65 had replaced their one-piece with a bikini in the past few years.
Being able to say ‘I like myself’ is the 6th out of 8 attitudes of successful midlife women that I cover in my book ‘Still 25 Inside’.
Attitude 6 is about adopting a holistic approach to wellbeing. It will show you how to change your mindset so you can appreciate your body, eat healthily, age with grace and, finally treat menopause as a new start – not the end of the road. Combined, these become the ultimate recipe for feeling great on the inside and, therefore, looking great on the outside. Imagine looking as amazing and feeling as healthy as someone in their 20s or 30s. This is achievable. The objective of this Attitude is for us all to feel good about ourselves and to be proud to look in the mirror and say: ‘I like myself’.
It is worth remembering that we create our reality, so it is important to focus on what we want to achieve and create for ourselves. This is particularly crucial for women in the area of body image. If you look in the mirror and believe that you’ll never shift those pounds that are making you feel unhappy and less energetic; if you think that changes towards a healthier lifestyle are not worth considering because ‘the damage has been done’ or, if you think that midlife is the time when you can sink into oblivion and let the world pass you by, you can think again! Ultimately, you life – both now and in the future – is firmly your hands!
(based on this story - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1306307/Grankini-Helen-Mirren-sparks-trend-bikini-sales-50s-soar.html)
12th August 2010
Age is still an issue for women in the workplace
I was intrigued to find out that Midlife women are still being treated differently to their younger counterparts at work, but this doesn't stop them believing they will still gain the upper hand.
Myself and Dr Julie Hodges of Durham Business School conducted an independent survey recently and out of over 130 women who participated, 68 percent believe they can still improve their status in the work place. With businesses regularly overlooking midlife women in favour of younger employees, many believe it's not time to hang up their coat and admit defeat just yet.
The key advantage 74 percent felt that had over their younger counterparts was experience. It seems as though there is a lot of valuable knowledge and experience being offered by older work forces, so why is it that many companies are ignoring this vital attribute in favour of youth?
Mid-life women are determined to be recognized for their hard work and with the current economical climate still slow, many are finding they are having to fight hard in order to be noticed. Many are even thinking seriously about leaving the corporate world and start up their own businesses. The loss of talent resulting from that would have huge repercussions for the business world.
I changed my career completely in my forties after I went from being a successful change management consultant to a published author. I am now busy planning my fourth book and running my Age with Attitude course designed to empower 40+ women to take control of their lives and careers and strive for new achievements during their midlife years.
But for many who haven't taken the leap, the challenges still remains to come out on top, but could organisations be pushing these talented employees a step too far?
3rd August 2010
Women in Media and Politics are top role models for midlife women
Women in politics and media are found to be top role models for midlife women according to our new research in association with Durham Business School.
Out of over 130 women who participated in the anonymous online survey, which explored the attitudes of 40+ women across the UK, the results showed that mid-life women still consider women in politics and media as their top role models. This is despite the fact that the media is often said to be one of the most ruthless industries for alienating women after they reach a ‘certain age’.
Having recently watched Joan Collins on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories, she touched on something that is happening through both the showbiz world but also through business and life in general. Joan described how Hollywood was incredibly ageist. To play a mother/grandmother in a film, you have to be under 40!!! That is so sad but unfortunately this kind of behaviour toward 40+ women is happening every day and I wanted to see how real this was for normal everyday women.
The research, entitled ‘What’s Age Got To Do With It?’, found that the majority of those questioned listed women in the media or politics as their roles models including:
Oprah Winfrey (56), who suffered extreme hardship at a young age but went on to become an American television host, producer, and philanthropist and is known and admired throughout the world.
JK Rowling is another wonderful example. She wrote the 1st Harry Potter book when she was a single mother living on benefits. In the space of five years she turned her fortunes around and has gained multi-millionaire status.
Cherie Blair. Although wife to ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair, Cherie has forged out her own highly successful career whilst also being mother to four children. Known for being an active campaigner on equality and human rights issues, Cherie is also give a lot of focus to charity work including Cherie Blair's foundation - Cherie Blair Foundation for Women.
Dr Julie Hodges from the Durham Business Social believes that despite having such positive role models in place, things are still very tough for normal everyday midlife women in the workplace.
Dr. Hodges says “This research shows that there are still key issues which midlife women are facing in the world of work and which need to be addressed by employers. The research has an impact for organizations particularly in the current economic climate where organizations may be cutting themselves short by not using the experience and knowledge of midlife women. This is true in the public as well as the private sector and is certainly evident in the new coalition cabinet where there are very few women”.
27th July 2010
7/10 women like themselves more as they get older
Forget facelifts and endless supplies of Botox, 7/10 women actually like themselves more as they get older, wrinkles and all, according to the results of our new survey of midlife women in association with Durham Business School.
Out of 125 women who participated in the anonymous online survey which explored the attitudes of 40+ women across the UK, 77% said they liked themselves more as the got older and 66% felt they were actually happier now than when they were in their 20s.
Rather than seeing age as a barrier to success, 55% said they were more likely to change their career during midlife, a view which supports the growing trend for ‘Cafties’ (Careers after Forties) and is at odds with the stereotype often portrayed in the press about women being ‘over the hill’ once they hit a certain age.
I think this clearly proves that most women are positive about approaching midlife and don’t see it as something to shy away from.
I’m a mother of two and went through a difficult divorce in my forties after realising that my husband and my life as it stood was holding me back. I accept that midlife women do tend to get stuck in a rut, but believes this research illustrates that most women have the motivation and tenacity to get themselves out of that rut and back on the road to success.
I was in my forties when I started my own business and started writing my first book, which was picked up my a major publishing house. Now at 51, I’m busy planning my fourth book and developing the Age with Attitude programme. I’m living proof that life can begin at 40 and this research proves that not all women feel repressed by the ageing process.
23rd July 2010
Do you earn more than your partner?
The woman and work survey 2010 commissioned by Grazia Magazine has shown that a third of women are now breadwinners.
Of those 2,000 females questioned almost half were either out-earning their partners (30%) or earning as much (19%), and one in 10 already had a house husband. The results also showed that only 11% of those questioned wanted to stop work completely.
These results are very interesting and shows a definite switch in attitudes towards women in the workplace and household. Gone are the days when a woman's role was to stay at home and look after the family. They understand that it is possible to both work and raise a family and so many remain in their highly paid jobs, now sharing the role of parenthood with their partners.
The same can be said for mid-life women who are again finding their identity. They are challenging the stereotypes laid out in the media and are showing that mid-life women are valuable members of any organisation. Their experience and knowledge is helping them to compete with younger competitors and enables them to progress and earn a salary that can compete with their partners.
For top tips on returning to the work place in mid-life and re-gaining that lost confidence, read my latest book ‘Still 25 Inside' which is packed with handy tips and exercises. You can download a free chapter from the book from my Age with Attitude website (www.agewithattitude.co.uk <http://www.agewithattitude.co.uk/> ) and it is available to buy from Amazon (www.amazon.co.uk <http://www.amazon.co.uk/> ).
According to findings from the US, a couple are 75 per cent more likely to separate if their friends have split up. I think the finding certainly reflect of number of ‘mid-life' couples. We spend so much of our time devoted to raising our children and working that we neglect ourselves and our relationships.
When we reach mid-life, often the children have grown-up and are no-longer dependent on us. We are financially stable and no-longer need to work all hours just to survive. We start to spend more time alone with our partners and if there are any problems within the relationship, this is when it starts to show.
When a friend divorces it makes us re-evaluate our own lives. We question whether we are truly happy, if our needs are being fulfilled and if the spark has in fact fizzled out? Gone are the days when marriages meant for life whether you were happy or not. Midlife is a time when women in particular start to focus on what makes them truly happy.
Another fun packed weekend of work, delving into ourselves with a large dose of openness and honesty thrown in! Even the coaches were drained this month! It may have had something to do with having bedrooms being situated over a late night disco in the Hythe Imperial Hotel however!
This module was called ‘Be You' as it focuses on learning more about who we are at our core and what's most important to us. Day 1 was all about the Attitude ‘I know who I am'. We looked at how we spend our time, we learnt about our personalities as represented by six different goddesses and we worked on our personal mission statements. All totally amazing!
It began with the team coming together again, having not seen each other since Feb, but it could have been yesterday. We are close, we are honest and we are raring to go; what could Lindsey have in store for us this time? Well, she delved deeper into our thoughts and behaviours, making us work to be clear and precise about what we want, what we don't want in our lives and how we are going to get it! Attitude pours from this team, and we all want to put the effort in so we can go home revived, yet exhausted at the same time! NLP techniques are used and explored and it really helps to understand why we use the language we do.
We scored our responses and fine tuned our thoughts and came out knowing what's important to us...each time is a refining or defining moment, we all agree. We all know our Goddess type now and what a revelation, the archetypes show us where we need to increase or decrease our behaviours in order to get what we want. Going to have fun discovering that! I'm Hera, typical of a business woman (or another term for bossy!!).
Day 2 was all about finding out more about ourselves when we are truly authentic. Fascinating stuff. We worked on our values in different areas of our life and we all learnt what was most important to each of us. At the end of the last day the usual Goddess council reconvened and the usual suspects went through the usual motions of pouring out our wishes, concerns and potential changes that could be made...and lovingly we send the goddess out so we can talk about her behind her back!! However, we do this for the sole purpose of feeding back to her positive and helpful remarks with homework, if required, to be completed before the next course. We all had our share and mine always comes back to cooking properly!!!! I guess my Easter meal with Easter eggs as dessert didn't quite count as learning to cook!
The Goddesses had everything from getting ones' mojo back to dancing sexily ....looking for new business, to my cooking obviously (no fun there!) and journaling once more. We have this off pat now the girls' are wheeled in and out with precision, timing and finesse, all taken well and we are very good at completing the tasks set.
We are looking forward to the final 3 days in Sept in Ashford Kent, what will be in store then I wonder? One thing is for sure, we will stay friends and stay connected, after all, we are the original Goddesses!
To some this may seem odd but to many midlife women, this is common practice. Why do they do this? Because society does not recognise their value anymore. They fear they'll be passed over for younger women both in their career and in life and unfortunately often age rules over experience.
A recent study conducted by Age with Attitude and Durham Business School backs up this claim with their results showing that of those questioned, 82% of midlife women believe they are passed over for younger women in the workplace whilst 54% felt they are treated differently by society. With the media constantly telling us that anyone over the age of 40 has passed their prime, is it any wonder!!
A recent survey of 3,000 women conducted by Florette Fruit found that of those studied, two thirds were completely bored with their lives with a massive 90% believing they would be less bored if they could be more spontaneous.
This is what I call women in the Grey Zone, the comfortable yet uncomfortable place. Women in the Grey Zone need to take responsibility for their own lives and move out towards the brilliant zone!
They key thing to remember is that the mind and body are inextricably connected, so when we change on the inside, we change on the outside. In the past when feeling low or unhappy we may have undertaken some ‘retail therapy'. The problem is that the feeling of pleasure is normally short lived. In order to make change, we need to first tackle the root problem.
Think about what you really want from life and what you feel is lacking. Maybe you feel the fizzle has gone from your relationship, maybe you feel that being a stay-at-home mother isn't enough, maybe it's getting that dream job. Once you are aware of which areas you feel are lacking, then you can begin to take the first steps to getting out of the Grey Zone!
How many of us listen in awe as our friends tell us how wonderful their partner is? How they are treated with lavish gifts, flowers and romantic dinners. How many of us wish we had that in our relationship?
Although this may sound like the perfect relationship, for many it is not truly what they are after.
What's essential is that men and women work out what's most important to them about their relationship ie their relationship values. For some truth and honesty are important, for others it's romance and flowers. The question to ask is ‘what's most important to me about my relationship'. This isn't the one you are in now unless it's perfect! But the one you'd like to have.
In my latest book ‘Still 25 Inside' I offer tips and advice on how to be true to yourself along with an interesting exercise to help you determine your relationship values. You can download a free chapter from the book from my Age with Attitude website and it is available to buy from Amazon (www.amazon.co.uk <http://www.amazon.co.uk/> ).
This is not surprising as couples work hardest at their relationships when they first meet. They compromise and make sacrifices. Once they have their partner these things become less important and couples get complacent. It's really important for couples to:
- Continue to put each other at the top of their list of priorities even when the children come along
- Give each other time together and apart
- Find out what's important to the other one in terms of the relationship
So many people do what they think is important. For example, they might tell the other person that they love them regularly yet their partner wants to be taken out and bought flowers. Over time, resentments build. Couples need to be honest with each other for a long-time relationship to grow in the right way. I was on holiday last week and people watched around the pool. One thing that still amazed me. Young mums running around frantically looking after young children whilst Dads laid in the sun and read their latest best-seller....come on Dads this is not a good way to build long-term harmony! If you want to still have a happy marriage in mid-life then tell each other what you want and the other person needs to listen and take some action!
In my latest book ‘Still 25 Inside' I offer advice on how to find your focus in life. By recording how long you spend on various tasks e.g work, family time and relationship time you will be able to see which areas need further attention. You can download a free chapter from the book from my Age with Attitude website and it is available to buy from Amazon (www.amazon.co.uk).
24th May 2010
Finally, proof that mid life women have more fun
I was very interested to read a survey published by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (May 17-21 online edition) which found that those over 50 are less stressed then their younger counterparts.
The conclusions were reached after examining a 2008 Gallup phone survey of more than 340,000 people who live in the United States. Study author Arthur A. Stone, vice chair of the department of psychiatry at New York's Stony Brook University said "In general, people were more stressed and angry in their 20s, and their levels of stress and anger declined all the way through their 80s".
These results are very different to the mid life that is often portrayed by the media as being ‘over the hill'. For a lot of women in their 50's, this is a time of great anxiety and often leaves them wondering where their youth went.
Many women who attend my Age with Attitude course feel that life has slipped past them, leaving them feeling like the invisible generation. They feel that in work they are often overlooked for promotion despite their extensive experience, they feel less sexy and cannot see a way in which they can compete with younger models.
At 51, I am certainly happier now then I have ever been. Like the women I coach, I have learned to be comfortable in my own skin. I have the confidence to compete in a world where youth rules and am not afraid to make my mark.
My latest book ‘Still 25 Inside' offers tips and advice on how to be happy, no matter what your age! You can download a free chapter from the book from my Age with Attitude website and it is available to buy from Amazon (www.amazon.co.uk).
I'm sure this is the attitude of many, even those divorced only one. They believe marriage has not worked in the past and so is best to stay well clear of in the future. Even worse, some believe they are too old to re-marry but remember, never say never!!
The important thing is to learn from each relationship to ensure that the next one is better.
Ask yourself what's really important to me about a relationship to find out your relationship values. Find out your deep love strategy too, ask yourself what your partner needs to do to show you that you are deeply loved. Is it the words your lover says to you, their touch or the way that they look at you and take to you to special places? If your deep love strategy isn't aligned to your partners you will have challenges. For example, if you need to be touched but he needs to be told it's important that you both know that so you can continue to fulfill each other for years to come.
My new book ‘Still 25 Inside' explains this is more detail and gives you exercises to show you how! You can download a free chapter from the book from my Age with Attitude website and it is available to buy from Amazon (www.amazon.co.uk).
7th May 2010
IF YOU CAN'T CHANGE YOUR AGE, CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE! Still 25 Inside - Official release 7th May
There's still time to Make it Happen for you! Focus on new beginnings not endings.
In my new book ‘Still 25 Inside,' which is officially released today, I'm going to show you how you can make every phase of your life as good, or indeed better, than what's gone before. Whatever it is that you desire, ‘Still 25 Inside' reveals how changing the way you think and act is the key to living the life you want. You will discover the 8 Attitudes of happy, successful women, find out what makes you truly happy and learn how to implement lasting change. The book takes you on a journey through these Attitudes and uses practical exercises to show you how to make the changes.
‘Still 25 Inside' is a book written for midlife women everywhere - women who believe in beginnings, not endings. In our image and age obsessed society, it is high time that attention was paid to women in the middle phases of their lives. For the record, ‘middle' can mean anything from late 30s through to late 50s, depending upon when things have happened to you. The important point is that if you feel as if you are in this new phase, then you probably are.
We are not an invisible generation and we are far from done. We want to be vibrant and alive, and embrace the changes that we are experiencing as opposed to mourning them. ‘Still 25 Inside' will show you that ageing is simply an ‘attitude' of mind. You can choose to feel good about yourself and enjoy life, or you can choose to withdraw into the shadows and worry about the ageing process. Which is it to be for you?
If you're serious about making your mid-life your best time yet you'll want to buy this book on Amazon today - www.amazon.co.uk
12th April 2010
You don't have to be in crisis to make a change
It was great to see another story like this one (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1265235/Drinking-Feeling-worthless-Obsessively-shopping-You-having-FEMALE-midlife-crisis.html) addressing the issues of midlife crises in women and particularly noting that many women are able to turn their frustrations into positive experiences, as they move from putting everyone else before them, to realising that they do need some ‘me time' to find themselves again and learn about who they really are and what they want from the rest of their lives.
I must admit that a couple of years ago I too was stuck in this stereotype of thinking that all women had to go through this ‘midlife crisis' before they were able to make changes in their lives and embark on personal development programmes to help them achieve these goals. But creating the ‘Age with Attitude' programme has introduced me to so many women for which this isn't the case at all and has highlighted that sometimes we forget that it doesn't always take a crisis to put out lives on a different track and make positive steps towards happiness and fulfilment.
Most of the women on the current Age with Attitude programme aren't depressed, or stuck in a rut, or experiencing a midlife crisis. Most are in fact, in senior positions at work or run their own business and are very happy with their current relationship status, whether single or in a relationship. They were very happy with where their lives were and wanted to develop themselves further and stretch themselves. Some saw it as a way of creating some valuable and much needed ‘me time', where they could just focus on themselves and on making new friends.
When speaking to these women, some really despised the tags of ‘midlife women', ‘midlife crisis' etc as they felt that it in some way took away some of their power, energy and inherent happiness with their lives to date. It suggested that women of a certain age can't be happy and fulfilled without therapy! They much preferred to be called ‘women in their forties' and wanted the media to portray the brilliance of this time of life, when they kids are grown up, financial burdens are likely to be less, life experiences are plentiful and the future is a blank canvas.
Whilst personal development courses are very good for overcoming blockages and helping those feeling stuck in a rut to move onto the next stage in their lives, it is important to remember that they aren't just for those feeling trapped and that there are a huge army of positive thinking, confident and happy women in their forties and fifties for whom these courses just serve to empower them further!
8th April 2010
I'm proud to be a Swoftie (Single Women Over Fifty!)
I was very honoured to be invited to a photo shoot for Woman's Own recently to celebrate the rise of the ‘Swoftie', single women over fifty. The magazine is out this week (12 April issue) and I'm, so thrilled with the outcome. According to new research there are more of us in the UK than ever before and at the photoshoot I was joined two of these very inspiring ‘Swoftie' women.
52 year old Dawn Pollard was a former air stewardess who loved travelling the world with her job, but the constant time apart put too much strain on her marriage and sadly it ended in divorce. She was in her late forties when that happened and decided to embark on a new career in property development and has never been happier. She believes that during her marriage she put off doing things because they didn't have the time.
Do you dedicate any time to yourself or are you constantly in overdrive as a ‘wife', ‘mother', ‘employee', ‘daughter', ‘sister' with no time for yourself?
54 year old Karen Rhoder felt that she needed to inject some fun into her life and find herself again after she experienced the breakdown to two consecutive long term relationships. She decided to try something completely different and embarked on the Age With Attitude course, which involves a spot of ‘firewalking!' Karen is now a much stronger person as a result of experiences like these and says she has realised how important it is to keep and open mind and try new experiences.
Are you perhaps holding yourself back from trying new experiences because of fear or lack of confidence?
And finally there was my story. I ended my marriage because it had fizzled out, even though I tried very hard to make it work, but there was no going back. I was in my early forties when that happened and I shared custody of my two children with my ex-husband. When they were staying with him it gave me time to think about my life and I realised something was missing from my career. So I took a leap of faith at 45 and left my consultancy job to retain as a coach in neuro-linguistic programming, teaching people how to maximise their potential in life. Starting out was tough by the long hours paid off and I now run a very successful company.
At 47, I fulfilled another long-standing ambition - to write. My first self-help book Change Your Life With NLP has sold over 25,000 copies and my second book Still 25 Inside £12.99, Rodale), aimed at women in their 40s and 50s is due out next month.
If you ask most women of my age how they feel, they'll tell you that they still think of themselves as young. Why should we feel our lives are on the scrap heap just because we've hit 50? My life is so much more fulfilling now than it was when I was young. I hope that by sharing these experiences, we will help inspire other women to believe in themselves and know that absolutely anything is possible.
7th April 2010
Is age your greatest asset?
Having recently watched Joan Collins on Piers Morgan's Life Stories, she touched on something that is happening through both the showbiz world but also through business and life in general. Joan described how Hollywood was incredibly ageist. To play a mother/grandmother in a film, you have to be under 40!!! That is so sad but unfortunately this kind of behavior toward 40+ women is happening every day. How can we forget the sacking of Arlene Phillips from the BBC!
Age with Attitude have been asked to be involved with an academic study ran by Durham University on this very subject. The research will focus on mid life women (40-60 years old) in business, either running their own company or working for one.
The research paper will be published and seek to answer questions along the lines of 'What status do mid-life women have in the business world'. The results will be very interesting to see and may also lay proof to the fact that Hollywood isn't the only place where youthfulness is your greatest asset.
We need recruits who will simply be asked to fill in a questionnaire and I'd really appreciate your help in getting as many women to complete this questionnaire as possible to validate the findings.
It should only take 10 minutes of your time.
If you are not in the target age group/gender but know people who are please could you send them this link on my behalf.
A successful best-selling female author and entrepreneur who started a business at 47 and wrote her first book less than a year later will be helping other women to succeed in midlife with her latest Age with Attitude course starting in May.
The first session will be held at a venue in Central London from 21st to the 23rd May. Lindsey Agness, founder of The Change Corporation, author of ‘Change Your Life with NLP' and the soon to be released ‘Still 25 Inside', will be helping a group of positive 40+ women to achieve success and fulfillment by following her ‘8 Attitudes of the Successful Mid Life Woman'.
Age with Attitude is a 10-day programme spread over 10 months, which focuses on bringing about long-term, sustainable change over a 10-month period, rather than trying to find a ‘quick fix' in just one session.
The programme helps to challenge some of the common myths associated with women approaching mid-life including ‘I'm too old to have what I want', ‘I'm not good enough to compete with younger models' and ‘I need surgery to feel good about myself'.
The first Age with Attitude programme started last December and is due to finish in September this year. The women on the programme are seeing dramatic changes in their lives already, six months before the course finishes!
Audra Lamoon, 43 co-founder of Your Impact and co-author of ‘Blondes in Business' is currently enrolled on the Age with Attitude programme and has just completed the second module. She says;
"Lindsey, Karen and Janice were amazing, as before and really got involved and each know personal things about us and so they really know how to help and respond and encourage us at crucial times. They are absolutely the right people to be leading such a life changing course, my thanks to them!"
After years of prioritising husbands and families, many women want more out of their lives as they approach mid-life and sometimes, the urge to find personal fulfilment is overwhelming, says Lindsey.
"This is a time which can be surprisingly liberating for women if you are prepared to search out and take the opportunities," explains Lindsey, who is a Certified Trainer of NLP.
The reason Age with Attitude works so well is because Lindsey has personally experienced the challenges facing women as they age and has come out on top! She decided to leave her successful consultancy career in 2005 to build a new business giving others more choices about how to lead their lives and it was through experiencing the challenges of mid-life herself that she felt compelled to encourage a new movement of women wanting to challenge current cultural norms about growing older and gain inspiration from others on a similar path.
"I made four life changing decisions during my 40's, to leave my marriage, leave my job, start The Change Corporation and embark on my first writing project and I've never looked back. My ‘Age with Attitude' course is dedicated to mid-life women everywhere realising their true potential in a seemingly youth-orientated world. It is for women who believe in beginnings not endings," says Lindsey.
For more information or to book your place visit www.agewithattitude.co.uk or call 01304 621735
8th March 2010
The Mathematical equation for a successful marriage?!
I was bemused to see a story in the paper last week which claimed that scientists have announced a mathematical formula to increase the chances of a long and happy marriage by a fifth. According to the Geneva School of Business, a bride should be five years younger than her groom, should come from the same cultural background, and be the more intelligent of the pair if couples are to have a successful marriage.
Now I'm sure that you know many happily married couples who challenge this theory, and many unhappy ones that match the criteria above and still didn't work out! I really do think that it is a little too easy to suggest that these factors will contribute to a happy and successful relationship as first and foremost, it is about the attitudes and feelings of the individuals involved.
The woman may have the right age difference, she may have a degree when he doesn't and be of the same cultural background, but if she is feeling like she isn't emotionally supported by her husband, if she feels like she has to compete with younger models at work to gain recognition and if she is feeling like she doesn't really know who she is anymore after years of being just ‘a mum', then its highly likely that her relationship is going to suffer as result.
I've found that many women on the Age With Attitude programme have seen it as much needed ‘Me Time'. Often in life, women tend to become quite invisible when it comes to their own needs, when juggling family and work, and so this programme gives them the opportunity to find out who they really are again.
There are several key attitudes to being successful in midlife that are particularly relevant to this story and these include ‘I am true to myself', ‘ I know who I am' and ‘I like myself' and I think it is variables like these that will affect the likelihood of a long and successful relationship.
I believe that its only when you are happy with yourself and like who you are, can you even begin to look at what makes a happy relationship.
4th March 2010
The key to happiness doesn't lie in Beauty Treatments
To say I was concerned at the recent story of a mother injecting her 16 year old daughter with Botox is perhaps an under statement to say the least. It does make me wonder what kind of world we are bringing our children into if those as young as 16 are concerned about fine lines and wrinkles, but having said that it does look like this is probably going to be the next teen fad, like the obsession with the super skinny look of the catwalk models a few years ago.
As a mother with a twenty year old daughter, I am all too aware of the messages that I continue to send her as a mid life woman and I know the way that I deal with how my looks change with age will influence the way she views her own ageing too. When looking at the story of Sarah Burge and her daughter Hannah, I wondered how much of the insecurities of 49 year old Sarah have already affected her daughter to the point where at such a young age, she believes that cosmetic surgery is an absolute necessity to feel and look good about yourself.
This desire that ‘I need cosmetic surgery to feel good about myself' is one of the myths of midlife that I challenge in my Age with Attitude course as it is something that the women in our AWA community admit is a big pressure as they age. Sometimes, it is easy to get caught up in the belief that in order to be happy, successful, in love, have a great career, you need to look young.
The reality is that you will only ever manifest what you believe, and so if you feel that you won't be successful or you won't get that promotion because you are a certain age, changes are you probably won't!
That's why on the Age with Attitude course, I teaches women to believe in the 8 attitudes of successful midlife women which are:
I live my life on purpose
I create what I want
I know who I am
I am true to myself
I am good enough
I like myself
I take time for me
I'm certain of my success
If any of this rings true with you, why not take our AWA Questionnaire on the Age with Attitude website and find out what AWA rating you are? Then you can take positive steps to move on to the next stage in your AWA journey and learn to love yourself just the way you are.
11th February 2010
Honey, don’t forget about YOU!
I saw an interesting story on the Telegraph website about a new book that claims the key to a happy family is devoting less time to the children and more to the marriage. As expected, this story has already generated some interesting comments from people arguing whether it is really wise to advise people to spend less time with their children!
I do think that this story actually misses a very important point, which is that everyone needs a little ‘me’ time or ultimately, both the children and marriage will suffer in the long run.
As a divorced mum of two I am only too aware of the difficulty of juggling the pressures of work, being a couple and raising children, so on my Age with Attitude programme, one of the first things I tell the women is that they must learn to enjoy their own company first.
The first step is to enjoy every moment of our lives not only when we are with a man. Being present means fully engaging with whatever is going on in our lives and having FUN! So whatever you are doing, whether it’s working, shopping or taking the kids out, give that task your full attention and really focus your energy on what’s going on. This is the secret to achieving a truly harmonious balance individually, as a couple and as a family.
Work out how much time you took just for “you” over the last week. If it was less than 7 hours you have some changes to make. It’s easy to allow our jobs to dominate our lives. I know I’ve done it. Yet, there is so much more out there for you even if you use the time reflecting on where you are in your life and what else you want to achieve. Think about one thing you are going to do differently next week to make more time for you.
9th February 2010
Age discrimination at the BBC in the spotlight yet again
I wasn’t surprised to see a story in the Mail recently that Countryfile presenter Miriam O’Reilly is sueing the BBC for age discrimination after she was axed from the BBC show. There’s been a number of similar criticisms aimed at the broadcaster in recent years including the high profile departure of Arlene Phillips from Strictly Come Dancing after she was replaced by younger model Alesha Dixon. It’s sad but this is far from an isolated incident.
My Age with Attitude programme focuses on the ‘8 Attitudes of the Successful Mid Life Woman’ revealing some of the common myths associated with women approaching mid-life including ‘I’m too old to have what I want’, ‘I’m not good enough to compete with younger models’ and ‘I need surgery to feel good about myself’. I’ve come across many women who have been in Miriam’s position and they especially benefit from a module which focuses on the ‘I am good enough’ attitude, where we provide the tools to work on their self-esteem and feeling of self worth. After this, women will feel more empowered to compete against their younger counterparts and come out on top.
What I really want to achieve with my programmes is to empower women to take a stand and be more confident in challenging their employers if they feel their age is being used against them. One such delegate was 66 year old Margaret Caiger-Watson who wanted to stay on in her job beyond 65 and subsequently secured an extension at her workplace after attending the Age with Attitude pilot programme last year.
Afterwards, Margaret said, “I was so much more confident after the programme that I felt I could take on anything that was presented to me.”
What has happened to Miriam is one of the reasons why I was inspired to develop this programme. I want to challenge the image obsessed media like the BBC to take a different perspective on their midlife workers, who I know still have so much to offer.
6th February 2010
Faithful at 50? The rise of the ‘She-Vorce’?!
I was interested to read this story on the Telegraph website. The feature focuses on the recent release of ‘It’s Complicated’ starring Meryl Streep and examines the change in culture in mid-life women. Once seen to be something that men did, women are now having more affairs and age is no restriction! Along side this is ever increasing divorce rates. Did you know that some 65 per cent of divorces in people over 50 are now initiated by women?
I believe one of the main reasons for this rising trend of the ‘She-Vorce” is that more women are now waking up to their feelings. They have became bored, the relationship has gone stale and they are left feeling like something is missing in their lives. And of course mixed in to this is the dreaded menopause!! Once the menopause hits, women’s hormones go mad and they no longer feel the need to make a ‘nest’. They become more liberated and it is often at this time that they decide to make changes in their lives and sometimes this involves making a fresh start.
I think for the majority of forty something women, divorce is not about finding a younger partner, it is about rediscovering themselves. Finding someone that shares their values, and with whom they can have fun with. But you know, this awakening period doesn’t necessarily have to end in divorce and it raises the question of whether some women are jumping too quickly into divorce, thinking that the answer is to happiness lies in leaving their partner but in reality it is issues within themselves that need changing? I’m a strong believer that if you know what you want and what is important to you as a midlife woman and your partner is fully prepared to help you achieve this, then it may be that some slight readjustments in your relationship are needed and you could live happily ever after!
I designed my Age with Attitude coaching programme to help women take time to explore who they are and what is important to them. The course spans over 10 months so it means they have time to really address the issues in their life that are preventing them from feeling truly fulfilled and take practical steps to tackle these. By the end of the course, women are better placed to make the right choices for their future, with or without their partner in tow!
29th January 2010
I have made the decision to blog on a weekly basis on a Friday, that way it is achievable! Remember to make your goals 'SMART' proof.
My New Year has started fabuolusly, I had an invitation to go on live Austrailian Morning TV (it's a bit like GMT) Caz and I travelled to London to the film studios and had our first taste of a Green Room. The broadcast went out live and for my first attempt at TV I was very satisfied with the result - by the way I had forgotten to mention to the producer that I was a TV 'virgin'! As I always say to my students 'go for it!'.
January has been a very busy month for The Change Corporation infact we have taken on so many new delegates for the April Practioner Programme we had have to change venue.
The proposal for the Housing association has been sent and now we have to wait and see. I have just sold the rights to my first book to be translated into Italian, maybe we will have lots of new delegates from Italy. Should I ask caz to look into training venues in Italy?
5th January 2010
In the office again today. Busy with a proposal for a leadership programme for a housing association and must get that 3rd book started.
4th January 2010
Back in the office today. Lots of calls from people who want to make a change to their lives!
1st January 2010
My goal is to use this blog more regularly this year starting today! Today I discovered that my book 'Change Your Life with NLP' was in the top 20 of all self-help books in 2009! It was the only NLP book on the list and was with authors such as Stephen Covey and Paul McKenna. This year will also see my second book 'Still 25 Inside' published on the 7th May and 'Change Your Business with NLP' later in the year. What a great way to start the year!
