The Change Corporation, NLP Training & Coaching, Life Coaching
It doesn't matter how you have lived your life until this moment. All that matters is what your dreams are. The only moment is NOW. Change happens in an instant once you have made a decision to go for it. You're probably feeling that your life is OK and yet you have a yearning for something else. Perhaps there is a dream you have always wanted to pursue or an area of your life that is not right yet. That's where our life coaching courses using NLP can help. Our mission is to inspire you to create new choices for your future. To encourage you via NLP life coaching to take a chance and do something different. If you are coached by us we guarantee your life will never be the same again. We run a range of NLP training courses such as our NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner programmes for those of you who want to get a formal qualification or shorter personal empowerment coaching programmes such as Change Your Life with NLP and Re-Vitalise Your Life.
Blog
8th March 2010
The Mathematical equation for a successful marriage?!
I was bemused to see a story in the paper last week which claimed that scientists have announced a mathematical formula to increase the chances of a long and happy marriage by a fifth. According to the Geneva School of Business, a bride should be five years younger than her groom, should come from the same cultural background, and be the more intelligent of the pair if couples are to have a successful marriage.
Now I'm sure that you know many happily married couples who challenge this theory, and many unhappy ones that match the criteria above and still didn't work out! I really do think that it is a little too easy to suggest that these factors will contribute to a happy and successful relationship as first and foremost, it is about the attitudes and feelings of the individuals involved.
The woman may have the right age difference, she may have a degree when he doesn't and be of the same cultural background, but if she is feeling like she isn't emotionally supported by her husband, if she feels like she has to compete with younger models at work to gain recognition and if she is feeling like she doesn't really know who she is anymore after years of being just ‘a mum', then its highly likely that her relationship is going to suffer as result.
I've found that many women on the Age With Attitude programme have seen it as much needed ‘Me Time'. Often in life, women tend to become quite invisible when it comes to their own needs, when juggling family and work, and so this programme gives them the opportunity to find out who they really are again.
There are several key attitudes to being successful in midlife that are particularly relevant to this story and these include ‘I am true to myself', ‘ I know who I am' and ‘I like myself' and I think it is variables like these that will affect the likelihood of a long and successful relationship.
I believe that its only when you are happy with yourself and like who you are, can you even begin to look at what makes a happy relationship.
4th March 2010
The key to happiness doesn't lie in Beauty Treatments
To say I was concerned at the recent story of a mother injecting her 16 year old daughter with Botox is perhaps an under statement to say the least. It does make me wonder what kind of world we are bringing our children into if those as young as 16 are concerned about fine lines and wrinkles, but having said that it does look like this is probably going to be the next teen fad, like the obsession with the super skinny look of the catwalk models a few years ago.
As a mother with a twenty year old daughter, I am all too aware of the messages that I continue to send her as a mid life woman and I know the way that I deal with how my looks change with age will influence the way she views her own ageing too. When looking at the story of Sarah Burge and her daughter Hannah, I wondered how much of the insecurities of 49 year old Sarah have already affected her daughter to the point where at such a young age, she believes that cosmetic surgery is an absolute necessity to feel and look good about yourself.
This desire that ‘I need cosmetic surgery to feel good about myself' is one of the myths of midlife that I challenge in my Age with Attitude course as it is something that the women in our AWA community admit is a big pressure as they age. Sometimes, it is easy to get caught up in the belief that in order to be happy, successful, in love, have a great career, you need to look young.
The reality is that you will only ever manifest what you believe, and so if you feel that you won't be successful or you won't get that promotion because you are a certain age, changes are you probably won't!
That's why on the Age with Attitude course, I teaches women to believe in the 8 attitudes of successful midlife women which are:
I live my life on purpose
I create what I want
I know who I am
I am true to myself
I am good enough
I like myself
I take time for me
I'm certain of my success
If any of this rings true with you, why not take our AWA Questionnaire on the Age with Attitude website and find out what AWA rating you are? Then you can take positive steps to move on to the next stage in your AWA journey and learn to love yourself just the way you are.
11th February 2010
Honey, don’t forget about YOU!
I saw an interesting story on the Telegraph website about a new book that claims the key to a happy family is devoting less time to the children and more to the marriage. As expected, this story has already generated some interesting comments from people arguing whether it is really wise to advise people to spend less time with their children!
I do think that this story actually misses a very important point, which is that everyone needs a little ‘me’ time or ultimately, both the children and marriage will suffer in the long run.
As a divorced mum of two I am only too aware of the difficulty of juggling the pressures of work, being a couple and raising children, so on my Age with Attitude programme, one of the first things I tell the women is that they must learn to enjoy their own company first.
The first step is to enjoy every moment of our lives not only when we are with a man. Being present means fully engaging with whatever is going on in our lives and having FUN! So whatever you are doing, whether it’s working, shopping or taking the kids out, give that task your full attention and really focus your energy on what’s going on. This is the secret to achieving a truly harmonious balance individually, as a couple and as a family.
Work out how much time you took just for “you” over the last week. If it was less than 7 hours you have some changes to make. It’s easy to allow our jobs to dominate our lives. I know I’ve done it. Yet, there is so much more out there for you even if you use the time reflecting on where you are in your life and what else you want to achieve. Think about one thing you are going to do differently next week to make more time for you.
9th February 2010
Age discrimination at the BBC in the spotlight yet again
I wasn’t surprised to see a story in the Mail recently that Countryfile presenter Miriam O’Reilly is sueing the BBC for age discrimination after she was axed from the BBC show. There’s been a number of similar criticisms aimed at the broadcaster in recent years including the high profile departure of Arlene Phillips from Strictly Come Dancing after she was replaced by younger model Alesha Dixon. It’s sad but this is far from an isolated incident.
My Age with Attitude programme focuses on the ‘8 Attitudes of the Successful Mid Life Woman’ revealing some of the common myths associated with women approaching mid-life including ‘I’m too old to have what I want’, ‘I’m not good enough to compete with younger models’ and ‘I need surgery to feel good about myself’. I’ve come across many women who have been in Miriam’s position and they especially benefit from a module which focuses on the ‘I am good enough’ attitude, where we provide the tools to work on their self-esteem and feeling of self worth. After this, women will feel more empowered to compete against their younger counterparts and come out on top.
What I really want to achieve with my programmes is to empower women to take a stand and be more confident in challenging their employers if they feel their age is being used against them. One such delegate was 66 year old Margaret Caiger-Watson who wanted to stay on in her job beyond 65 and subsequently secured an extension at her workplace after attending the Age with Attitude pilot programme last year.
Afterwards, Margaret said, “I was so much more confident after the programme that I felt I could take on anything that was presented to me.”
What has happened to Miriam is one of the reasons why I was inspired to develop this programme. I want to challenge the image obsessed media like the BBC to take a different perspective on their midlife workers, who I know still have so much to offer.
6th February 2010
Faithful at 50? The rise of the ‘She-Vorce’?!
I was interested to read this story on the Telegraph website. The feature focuses on the recent release of ‘It’s Complicated’ starring Meryl Streep and examines the change in culture in mid-life women. Once seen to be something that men did, women are now having more affairs and age is no restriction! Along side this is ever increasing divorce rates. Did you know that some 65 per cent of divorces in people over 50 are now initiated by women?
I believe one of the main reasons for this rising trend of the ‘She-Vorce” is that more women are now waking up to their feelings. They have became bored, the relationship has gone stale and they are left feeling like something is missing in their lives. And of course mixed in to this is the dreaded menopause!! Once the menopause hits, women’s hormones go mad and they no longer feel the need to make a ‘nest’. They become more liberated and it is often at this time that they decide to make changes in their lives and sometimes this involves making a fresh start.
I think for the majority of forty something women, divorce is not about finding a younger partner, it is about rediscovering themselves. Finding someone that shares their values, and with whom they can have fun with. But you know, this awakening period doesn’t necessarily have to end in divorce and it raises the question of whether some women are jumping too quickly into divorce, thinking that the answer is to happiness lies in leaving their partner but in reality it is issues within themselves that need changing? I’m a strong believer that if you know what you want and what is important to you as a midlife woman and your partner is fully prepared to help you achieve this, then it may be that some slight readjustments in your relationship are needed and you could live happily ever after!
I designed my Age with Attitude coaching programme to help women take time to explore who they are and what is important to them. The course spans over 10 months so it means they have time to really address the issues in their life that are preventing them from feeling truly fulfilled and take practical steps to tackle these. By the end of the course, women are better placed to make the right choices for their future, with or without their partner in tow!
29th January 2010
I have made the decision to blog on a weekly basis on a Friday, that way it is achievable! Remember to make your goals 'SMART' proof.
My New Year has started fabuolusly, I had an invitation to go on live Austrailian Morning TV (it's a bit like GMT) Caz and I travelled to London to the film studios and had our first taste of a Green Room. The broadcast went out live and for my first attempt at TV I was very satisfied with the result - by the way I had forgotten to mention to the producer that I was a TV 'virgin'! As I always say to my students 'go for it!'.
January has been a very busy month for The Change Corporation infact we have taken on so many new delegates for the April Practioner Programme we had have to change venue.
The proposal for the Housing association has been sent and now we have to wait and see. I have just sold the rights to my first book to be translated into Italian, maybe we will have lots of new delegates from Italy. Should I ask caz to look into training venues in Italy?
5th January 2010
In the office again today. Busy with a proposal for a leadership programme for a housing association and must get that 3rd book started.
4th January 2010
Back in the office today. Lots of calls from people who want to make a change to their lives!
1st January 2010
My goal is to use this blog more regularly this year starting today! Today I discovered that my book 'Change Your Life with NLP' was in the top 20 of all self-help books in 2009! It was the only NLP book on the list and was with authors such as Stephen Covey and Paul McKenna. This year will also see my second book 'Still 25 Inside' published on the 7th May and 'Change Your Business with NLP' later in the year. What a great way to start the year!
